Call Your Doctor Right Away if…
This line is included in every single TV commercial about pharmaceutical drugs being recommended on television.
Visuals: Happy, slim older people fishing, dancing on the back deck, sitting in bath tubs on the beach. (really, now?)
Audio: Happy, soft music setting the mood of peaceful contentment, that blissful coming of age feeling.
Script: (Fill in the Blank Drug) has these amazing benefits. Helps you breathe; helps you have better sex; helps you avoid high cholesterol; helps mitigate too much insulin because you eat way too much sugar. Isn’t it wonderful! Isn’t it just peachy! Isn’t swell? Thank heavens for (name of drug.)
Call to Action: Ask your doctor if (fill in the blank, name of drug) is right for you. Ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. (Seriously?)
Disclaimer: (Name of Drug) may cause constipation, diarrhea, stroke or heart attack. In some cases, people using (name of drug) have died. (Visual Cue: beautiful woman, handsome man looking into each others eyes.) (Audio cue : music louder to drown out disclaimer about death.)
(Name of Drug) is not right for everyone. If you have heart disease, liver disease, if you have diabetes, or COPD, then (name of drug) may not be right for you. Call your doctor right away if you have any one of these 29 symptoms: (reader cue, list symptoms that have been reported in clinical studies, but read it very fast.) (Legal Note: Our lawyers are expecting massive lawsuits so cover your A**)
Repeat Benefits, repeat call to action, repeat benefits, repeat call to action.
Testimonial of paid actor: “I am glad I asked my doctor about (name of drug). I am ruggedly handsome/ sophisticated /beautiful. Be like me. Ask your doctor about (name of drug).
Did I get this right? Is this the way you want to take care of your health? I don’t buy it even for a second.
Not every modern disease has apparent symptoms. High cholesterol has no outward symptoms, except a general feeling of well-being. Having enough fats in your symptoms helps your brain chemistry. In fact, people who have really low amounts of cholesterol are usually at risk for depression. Shocking but true. Anorexia and depression are mutually inclusive.
We should utilize doctors and get regular check ups. But the real foundation of health, your personal health and mine is the habits that we use to run our lives. Thinking is hard work. Making decisions is hard work. It takes a lot of energy to make good choices. Our DNA has been set up and encoded in such a way that we develop patterns of behavior sometimes called habits that help us to save time spent deciding things.
Take a good look at your habits, your patterns. Why do you exercise and why do you not? How healthy are the foods you eat? What stresses you?
See how many choices are already made up in your mind without you having to think.
And don’t forget to ask your doctor if you are healthy enough to have sex.